How to help someone you know for families, partners and friends

It is common for family members, partners, friends to be scared, unsure or even angry with the person who is experiencing or has been diagnosed with an eating disorder. While there is no recipe for how to help someone experiencing an eating disorder, the following are some basic guidelines that may make the task easier and help the relationship between you and the person stay intact during this time.

Try to remember that the person experiencing an eating disorder is not consciously and deliberately choosing this way of expressing their emotional distress. Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses with health, social and personal consequences for people experiencing them and their families. Your loved one is in trouble and really struggling with a range of issues both in their external and internal worlds. They require both understanding and support at this time as well as the encouragement to seek help and/or time to address what is happening for themselves. However, they also require the people around them to know when outside help is needed and necessary which depends on the different stages of illness and recovery. If you are not sure of what to do, try to be both compassionate and non-judgemental towards your loved one, but get information from a health professional.

Often the person knows they are struggling with an eating disorder and they are very distressed about how out of control their behaviours are with food. The shame they feel about experiencing the problem and the energy in maintaining it a secret may make it difficult for them to reach out from help from people who care about them.

Resources and help available from EDAsa:

• Eating Disorders Foundation of Victoria Inc, 2000, ‘Information on Eating Disorders for families, partners & Friends’ (72 page A5 softcover booklet), cost $10.00 plus postage


• Friends and Relatives Support Group held every second Tuesday of the month at EDAsa. [link to information about the group here]

Other helpful sites for parents, partners and friends of people experiencing eating disorders:
www.empoweredparents.com