Many very young children feel anxious when confronted with new people or a new situation and will shyly cling to a parent or someone with whom they are familiar. Usually a parent can gently encourage them to venture out of their 'safe zone' in order to have new experiences. However, some children will tearfully resist anything which they perceive as fearful. It can take a considerable amount of patience to help a child to feel confident in tackling things they at first find difficult. 

However, sometimes a parent can be unaware of their child's insecurities until the start of day-care, kindy or school. Leaving a crying child with a caregiver or teacher can also be upsetting for the parent. It is useful for a parent to meet with the caregiver/teacher to work out a strategy which takes the child's fears and concerns into consideration. 

Much of a child's anxiety, as with adults, comes from a fear of the unknown. Children are in a more difficult position given that they have comparitively little control over things which affect them. It's often a combination of a fear of the unknown and a lack of control, coupled with a shy or sensitive nature, which underlies many children's anxiety. 

School Refusal

Sometimes a normally happy child will have a change in demeanour and become withdrawn and/or emotional. Repeated stomach or headaches on school days may be an indication of bullying or some other school-related issue. It's important to explore any possible reason for why this may be happening. It's also useful to speak with your child's teacher to get their view. 

Behaviour Difficulties

Children can have difficulty expressing emotional states because sometimes they just don't have the words. An anxious child will sometimes blame other things for their behaviour, rather than admit to fears which they may not even understand. Instead, they will 'act out' with all manner of disruptive behaviours. A child who feels he/she isn't getting enough attention will sometimes behave in inappropriate ways to achieve it. There may be tantrums at bedtime, biting or stealing toys from siblings etc. A child who is angry at a parent may break things important to that parent, or a child who feels inadequate may refuse to participate in sports or tasks through fear of failure and/or humiliation. 

What can parents do?

•    Maintain good communication
•    Spend time talking with your child about their day
•    Don't trivialise a child's fears or concerns
•    Be emotionally supportive without giving in
•    Nurture a sense of trust between yourself and your child
•    Guide, rather than control
•    Assist the child to develop their own problem-solving skills
•    Teach strategies for handling disappointment
•    Be an advocate where necessary
•    Help them develop their own form of positive coping strategies
•    Teach them to take responsibility for their actions
•    Wherever possible, allow your child to have input into decisions which affect them
•    Be consistent with discipline
•    Encourage friendships with same age children
•    Help them to see they can learn from their mistakes
•    Take an interest in things which interest them
•    Treat each child as an individual
•    Express pleasure in their efforts, not just their successes
•    Teach by your own example