Being prepared for recovery can really help the recovery process. Many have wondered: Why be prepared? Isn’t it something that just starts to happen? Can anyone be truly prepared before recovery starts?

Getting a lot of information about what recovery may involve can be helpful as you negotiate new territory. Getting information may involve talking to others at a support group, talking to experienced workers, reading, or talking about experiences as they happen throughout the recovery journey. Getting support for the process is highly recommended. An eating disorder (ED) can be tricky, and its voice can be strong if you are isolated.

Making the decision to recover does not mean that the process will be easy or always comfortable. It is common to feel fear, anxiety, stress and even ambivalence. Eating disorders become familiar. Life without them does not come naturally at first. There may be some things lost in moving on. Commonly people describe that they don’t know other ways to cope with emotions, stress or difficulties. People can feel distressed that they may not be able to communicate their pain without ED.

Recovery can be really hard and can often take a long time. It can feel circular, or like taking two steps forward and one step back. Things can get worse before they get better. There are no easy solutions, but most people describe the journey as worth it. ED may promise security, comfort and an anaesthetic but, at the same time, it can destroy your life and relationships, most importantly the relationship you have with yourself.

Many people experience similar things when going through recovery, but everyone’s process is unique. The reasons for your vulnerability to an eating disorder lifestyle will differ from others.  Inner and outer resources may differ. Some people may need to eat more to recover, others may want to stop overeating or vomiting. For all these reasons, trusting yourself when seeking support can be important. What works for someone else may not necessarily work for you.

A lot of emotional work is involved in recovery. Eating disorders often stifle feelings. Recovery most often involves re-experiencing feelings, and this can be scary. People can feel out of control or simply not know what to do with the feelings. This is a time when the temptation to be lured back to ED can be strong. If you are drawn back to ED, it is important to forgive yourself and see this as normal. As you become accustomed to experiencing feelings and coping with them, the process becomes more familiar and easier. It can be like leaving an abusive relationship: sometimes people venture back and forth before realising they can make it on their own. The emotions that surface during recovery may have to do with very real events in your life that haven’t been dealt with. Emotions may trigger memories, or vice versa. It is highly recommended that you seek professional help at this time. Family and friends may be a good source of support, but they may not be skilled at helping you work through emotions and past traumatic experiences.

Many find that recovery entails having to change their lifestyle. It varies between individuals, but people have said that as they changed they wanted to be in new environments, on a different career or study path, take up new hobbies or renegotiate how much time they spent with certain people. This can cause difficulties in relationships if others do not want these changes, but that needs to remain their problem. Pleasing others before yourself (if overdone) is not conducive to recovery. Some people find that others grow with them during the process and welcome the changes.

Sometimes cultural expectations are held by people close to you (e.g. you may have started needing more time alone and others may think this is odd; people may wonder why you’re not so obsessed with the gym or watching your weight). These kinds of expectations can potentially hinder your recovery process. It’s important to hold on to your newfound truths if you know they are healthy for you. Others may be holding on to assumptions that they’ve never questioned.

Many people who no longer live with an eating disorder describe their recovery as a journey of self-exploration where they learned a lot about themselves and changed in many different ways. Many people feel more positive about who they are, after recovery, than ever before. A body that is loved, cared for and happily inhabited, is a strong container to hold one throughout life.  Many describe how human they feel as they recover; how the drive for perfection once trapped them, as if in stone. It becomes easier to live in the moment without fear and anxiety if we know we are doing our best, even though we inevitably make mistakes. Finally, faith can be helpful and necessary for some: faith that the
darkness will pass, faith in oneself, God or another higher power.

The caterpillar does not spin its cocoon to die: there’s a transformation going on in there. Who can predict the timing? Butterflies do emerge!

Quotes:

“I don’t know if you can ever be ready for recovery. It is really an unknown path but it is worth it!” – Bobby, 26

“Be prepared for crashes or setbacks. It is a natural part of the course, but being a bit prepared for them, might eliminate some of that fear.” – Kimberley, 23.

“You develop an eating disorder as a coping mechanism…give yourself plenty of time to recover, you’ll gradually be able to put more constructive coping mechanisms in place as you face your thoughts and feelings.” – Kate.

Written by Trish Spowart.