DO

- Do realise there is no quick and easy solution.

- Do inform yourself about the disorders and their treatment.

- Do attend support groups. They are there for you.

- Do encourage your relative to get a professional assessment, from a practitioner experienced in eating disorders.

- Do express honest love, by physical and verbal expression.

- Do understand that your relative is ambivalent about getting well, and takes comfort in the control and rituals of the disorder.

- Do examine your own feelings and thoughts about anorexia/bulimia, and your own body image or fear of fat issues.

- Do encourage decision making and being responsible for those decisions at a level appropriate to the person's age.

- Do allow your relative to be in charge of his/her routines of daily life.

- Do realize that by giving up control, you’re setting the stage for your relative to develop healthy self-control.

- Do seek life-saving treatment for anyone who is in jeopardy of endangering self or others.

- Do accept yourself.

- Do accept your relative.

- Do make time for yourself, spouse, friends, and other family members. Remember to provide yourself with rest, freedom from worry, and fun.

- Do get help for yourself. The disorder disrupts the family too, and the family needs help coping with it

DON'T

- Don’t panic. Look around for the help you need.

- Don’t isolate yourself from those who can help, or whom you may be able to help.

- Don’t assume the person knows what they need or how you can help.

- Don’t make your love a condition of the individual’s appearance, health, weight, achievement, or any other attribute.

- Don’t comment- positively or negatively- on appearance or weight.

- Don’t let these peculiarities dominate the household.

- Don’t be manipulated. Require your relative to be responsible for his/her behaviour.

- Don’t force or encourage your relative to eat, or to eat properly however in cases of children and young adolescents, adults need to be in charge in a firm, confident way, without force.

- Don’t try to control your relative’s behaviour. It can intensify the problem.

- Don’t impose rules except those which are necessary for the individual’s or the family’s safety and well-being. Avoid power struggles.

- Don’t feel guilty or dwell on causes.

- Don’t expect yourself to be a perfect parent.

- Don’t expect (or hope) your relative to be perfect.

- Don’t expect that the amount of time you worry will help somehow. See to proper treatment then help yourself relax.

- Don't spend an unusual amount of time trying to persuade someone to eat, or going out of your way to arrange special foods or meals.