• Communicate with them. Be honest and open about your concerns. More damage can be done physically and psychologically to a person who lives with an eating disorder for a long time.


• Try to maximise the chances of a positive conversation. Use your knowledge of the person when deciding which is the best way to approach them.


• Assure them that you are talking about it because of your concerns.


• Use ‘I’ statements rather than ‘You’ statements. ‘You’ statements can lead to the person feeling attacked.


• For example, ‘I am concerned for you because I have noticed you are not so happy at the moment’ rather than ‘You aren’t happy at the moment.’


• Offer information, so that the person has something to read later, perhaps a brochure or a list of services.


• Try to avoid using labelling or judgemental language. Focus on the person’s behavioural changes, rather than their weight, food consumption or physical appearance.


• For example, you might decide not to use the words eating disorder or bulimia but to talk more generally about moods, behaviour, isolation and your concerns about these.


• Choose a time when you are both feeling calm and are unlikely to have any distractions. Pick a safe and comfortable place.


• Be prepared for their emotional reaction, which may be one of anger, denial or relief.

Anger – they may feel anger that their privacy has been threatened, that they have not been able to deal with the eating disorder on their own, that they are embarrassed or ashamed.

Denial – they may deny there is a problem because they feel guilty or ashamed, they may feel protective about their eating disorder especially if it serves a purpose for them ie: a way of coping or feeling in control. Alternatively they may be confused because they have not yet identified themselves as having an eating disorder.

Relief – they may feel relieved that someone has noticed and offered them support or help.

• Encourage them to seek professional help from counsellors, doctors, youth workers, community health centres, associations such as the EDFV (www.eatingdisorders.org.au).


• Encourage them to seek support from anyone that they feel comfortable with; friends, family, friends parents etc.


• Encourage them to see the benefits of a life without an eating disorder.


• Seek support for yourself.

If the person is truly endangering his or her life by their eating habits, family and friends may need to insist that professional help is sought.

Source: www.eatingdisorders.org.au